my best moments....

I have nothing to post these days...looking through old pictures and found these....a series of pictures from Ryan was a few weeks old till current..the way how he sleeps... :)
One of my best moments is when my little angel is asleep.... ahhhhhhhhhhhh..peaceful.. :)

This happens yesterday:
***daddy took out a bag of potato chips to munch & i was washing the dishes and i heard:

Ryan: mummy ar ...pei ar...mummy ar.. (pei=give)
Daddy: pei mummy meh yeh? (give mummy what?)
Ryan: mummy ar..pei mummy pitttss (pittsss=chips)
...hehehe..see my little one..he thought abt me and soo worried that daddy eat everything..without leaving me some..so sweet!

This happens last friday (morning when he woke up):

Ryan: lok hei ar( go down)
Me: lok hei peen tou( go down where)
Ryan : hei san ar ( get up)
Me: hei san cho meer ye? (get up do what)
Ryan: Chak nga ar(brush teeth ar)
Me: lol

Boyy...he wants me to get up and brush his teeth and go downstairs with him so that he can watch his sesame street programme.

wanna take a break...from being a mom, wife,? can ar?

Sigh.. dunno why i felt soo miserable today! Inside me i am sooo dying to be alone! hahaha..yeaaaaaaa... i need it soo badly eh.
I know no matter how cute and good Ryan is...sometimes he really does drives me crazy!
I am just being honest here.. am not a good mom here. I cannot give 100% of me to Ryan. I just can't.
I dunno how other mothers did it...i really salute them! It takes lotsa patience ..n me? i am not a patience person.

Today, Ryan didn't nap at all and he is just too demanding nowadays. I think i snap out and i punish him for no reason.
I just shut down and take myself away from home...from ryan and kit.

I think i really need my break soo badly!! U know what..sometimes i feel i can re-wind the time and decide not to have RYan..
BUt i can't! I know i should be thankful and grateful! but i am being honest here.. i am very tired and exhausted here.
I miss my single life..i really do!
ARghhhhhhhh!!

Soul Patrol vs Mcpheever

Americon Idol tonite was worth watching..2 hour result finale.. it was hot and i am very surprised they organized the guest singers to come and sing.
The one i know are as follows:
Dione Warwick (not sure with the spelling)
Prince
Mary J. Blige
Clay Aiken
Carrie Underwood

and got 3 other more which i dunno their name..kekekke...
There are some parts that cracks u up!

Wanna know who is the winner????

drum roll pls..... someone from countryside...ALABAMA
*grin*
hehehehe enjoy tonite..for those American idol fans

pictures this and that

Some pictures of Ryan i have taken weeks ago. Don't have the time to download earlier.. yea the first one, Ryan and Kit were on the driveway on evening , came back from the wagon ride :)
Second and third one were fun time at bath time. Is a must for Ryan to play water first b4 his bath.
and the last one is when he was sound asleep on the sofa. ..that is his favourite blanket ..where he drags everywhere he goes. can't live without it!

i am much better now

I am soo much better now, still have little bit of cough when my throat is dry(at first i didn't know coughing is also sign from the allegry till i heard it from FIL's friend on sunday-he had it too..his was very bad)

Our long weekend was not bad. I took my ex-boss and colleague to Mississauga for shopping at Yuan Ming( chinese groccery store). They love it..especially Anita. BOy she shop like crazy..everything to her is very cheap :)
At first i planned to treat them dim sum..but too bad Anita wanted to go back early so no dim sum that day. After the groccery shopping, we stopped by at my SIL's place to pick up BIL (kit's younger bro) to come over to Hamilton to stay overnite at our place...coz sunday we planned to go to Scarborough...furthermore, MIL wanted to see him very much.
(they have a very strange relationship..coz my bil grew up without parents around..so he seldom talk to my PIL)
i can't blame him coz he grew up here not malaysia...different background...and my pil have different culture and thinking.
MIL dun understand him and soo eager to communicate with him but..he just won't wanna say a thing..just yes or no only..
Sighhhhhhhhh... it is sad to see this situation..as a mother...i am aching inside..coz i cannot imagine if Ryan treats me like this..
as a child myself... i pitty my bil..coz i really looking forward for my parents love...but all i have is just constant nagging and no to my wishes..without listening to it first.
My pil just dun understand him...

So i always try to talk my BIL...he is just 2 years younger than me..so we can click very well. Still young and looking for a gf..
he is saving very hard to get his own place so that he can have his own life...but too bad he didn't get any support from his parents. :(
what a shame.... he is not asking for money...all he is asking is support and courage. :(
If we have enough money we will help him... Kit and I understand his situation..and try to help him as much as we can.
Ryan loves him too...his fav uncle.. :)

Anyway,back to our weekend, sunday was okie...got back early managed to buy some pirated dvds..hehehehe
and monday, we just stayed home and clean up for pil moving in. So much to do...they are moving in this coming June 11th.
I am praying hard everynite... for His guidance,wisdom, love and strength for me to go through this challenge.
Just keep me strong and protected from all the evil plans! AMEN!

i am sick again

hate it ..when i am sick ..coz i couldn't lie down and rest anytime i want due to Ryan wants attention all the time. I dun like when i am sick...i haven't been sick since RYan is born eh...Thank God..coz i couldn't get sick..is hard to babysit kids when u r sick.. sigh..i guess my body system is running very low now...
I got back my sinus , pollen.. so i am sneezing and my nose is congested again whole day and nite.
i couldn;t take the medicine due to the drowsiness...arghhhhhhhhhhhh

i just wish somebody can take over my place for just few hours!! whooooo will? sighhh...

i feeel bad for ryan too..can't really concentrate to play with him whole day... i can't wait till 5.30 pm..so that Kit can take over..
this is the time u wish u have control over the clock..hehehehe :)

anway,i hope we will have a good weekend.

Spring season rain

It has been raining for the past few days.. is normal coz is Spring season. The lawn and plants needed it. But too bad for Ryan coz we couldn't go out to the backyard and play.
So what happened last few days was i try to play with him the matching games.
I printed out the alphabet and numbers out and cut them and glue them on the hard card board.
I tried to show Ryan the a-z alphabet and ask him to match the same one. To my surprise, he knows a lot.
He recognize the alphabet a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i, r,s,t,u,v, ...quite a lot of alphabet..and he knows how to pronounce it too..
but for the w ...he couldn't get it rite..he pronounce it as "i lat u" heheh sounded soo funny..and he knows he pronounce it wrong..coz after he say it..he will giggle and giggle out loud :)

it is tough to keep him in door..coz i will have to entertain him all the time and he won't take his nap long coz he is not tired from playing outside. :(
so these few days...i am really tired.
I have to clean the house to make some room for my PIL's stuff coming in .

But i am soo looking forward this coming weekend..coz is long weekend (Victoria day) and we are going to Scarborough to shop.. shop for dvd..hehehe china town got lotsa goodies :))
can't wait!

Ryan ala Lionel Richie

This happened on Monday where i was busy wiping off the dust from the tv rack. I love working with music on and i always listen to Lionel Richie's song.
I was playing his latest album call Just for U and "I still believe" song was playing. I didn't really focus on what Ryan was doing as i was busy wiping the dust, all of a sudden i hear this :

Ryan: *mumble ..mumble** arr sunnnn...me...mumble..
wayyyyy...

He was repeating this quite a few times and it caught my attention that he was trying to sing along with Lionel's song..

The part he was singing actually sounds like this :

Lionel: I still believe in you and me
Still believe the sun will shine one me
i still believe true love is the answer, don't turn away
cos i believe in love that's the only way

He was singing the sun part and away part...

I stopped my wiping and started to laugh so bad...omigosh..it sounded very funny and soo hilirious...i just wish i can record it...too bad :(

He loves music..just like me! heehe maybe trained by me..coz i always listen to music no matter what i am doing...infact when i was pregnant with Ryan..i used to listen to lotsa songs.. :) it calms me down :)

Thank you

Thank you all for the well wishes and prayers for Kit's exam. He is done phewwwwwwwww..n now hopefully he can pass :)

I was so stressed up for the past weeks. Didn't get much sleep and tired from babysitting my 2 babies...one big one and one small one ..ehehe ;)

Sunday was pretty good, Kit let me slept in in the morning and handle Ryan in the morning :) Brew coffee and made me breakfast in the morning :)
Got special treatment for that day hahaha
Took me out for lunch and we bought dinner over to PIL's place. He has to pampered his mom too leh..so have to be fair too.. :)
We bought a bouquet of flowers for her and she seem very happy too :)

Overall, i am grateful and thankful for everything. I said some prayers for my MOM. She was the best in the world for me :)
The LORD loves her sooo much that HE wants to keep her beside him. I am thankful to HIM for giving me such a wonderful mother to me eventhough we spent 14 years together only.
GOD BLESS HER SOUL :)

study study and study

Kit is on 3 days study leave. This morning Ryan woke up and check kit's room and saw him still sleeping, he was soo happy and woke kit up by saying "hei san ar" (get up)..."ar ning" .."hello"...keep repeating those words non-stop till kit got up! Ryan always check kit's room everyday when he woke up hoping to see his daddy still at home :) hehehe

After breakfast, i played awhile with Ryan (trying to distract Ryan from Kit while kit went upstairs to study)
I brought him out to the backyard to play some dirt. Gosh he loves dirt and always got his hands and feet dirty.
but he really enjoyed himself very much.

We stayed outside till abt noon time and i asked him to go inside and wash his hands and feet . After washing him, he said "huggie huggie" "kiss Kiss" hehehe..yea he learned new action which is hug hug..and he said huggie..and kiss kiss..
he did that sort of like thanking me for bringing him out to play :)
such a cheeky boy!

Poor kit..been staying upstairs almost the whole day till now. He is taking break now playing with Ryan. He has to play with RYan..coz Ryan treat him like a playmate instead of daddy..hahahha
Ryan is more afraid of me than Kit. So KIt always got bully by Ryan.

"arr q", "piss", "arr kum"

"ARR Q"
that is ryan's version of thank you. Whenever i give him something or i ask him to do something i always say thank you. teaching him that he has to say thank you if somebody give something.
Everyday, after i bath him and comb his hair , he will say "arr q" and kiss kiss (kiss me on my lips)
** that melts my heart***

"PISS"
ryan's version of please. I teach him how to say please at the right time. Everytime, i change his diaper he likes to kick his leg, so i always say "ryan please mou tek(dun kick)". so nowadays, everytime i change his diaper, he will tease me firs by kicking once and twice then he will say "piss piss" --kinda waiting for me to say please to him..when i say please, then he will stop kicking and he will say "okie"
**such a cheeky boy*

"ARR KUM"
ryan's version of welcome... he is learning the welcome word nowadays..not as good with the thank you though.. but when he say "ar q" , i will say u r welcome.. then he will follow me and says "arr kum"

**his english is not that good..but hopefully will be better as time goes by**

Sold-- Closing date June 16th

My PIL's house is sold and the closing date is June 16th. Sighhhhhhhh.. how i feel abt it? Funny and stressful!
WHY? well, some of u guys know the relatioship between my mil and myself. (some of u that dunno, u can find out from my very first blog).
In summary, our relationship is like the typical mil and dil. She was the reason that we moved out and got our own place eventhough we were not ready to buy a house back then.
ANyway, the shocking news to me now is they are moving in with us!!!!
How funnny and weird this is?

I can't believe this! they are the one chasing us out...n now they wanna move in back with us :(
As time goes by everyday nowadays, i am feeling crazy and nervous.
I can't imagine how it will be when they move in. I can't say no coz they got no place to live...well, they can live with their daughter in mississauga..but to them.. is shameful to live with daughter.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhh... butttttttttttttttttttttttt..the good news is.. i am trying to make the worst situation into better situation.. as in enrolling myself in nursing course. i am thinking of taking a 2 years full time nursing course next january..and while mil is at home..she can take care of Ryan for me.
I need to get out and mix with ppl..i need it badly.
SO i hope everything turn out good.
Why next jan and not this sept? well because PIL are going back this coming august for Kit's elder bro wedding.
and why i didn't send ryan to daycare? coz we cannot afford and i don't want ryan to forget his chinese language.
Furthermore, MIL is athome and is flexible for me to arrange the time. Least i have peace of mind what Ryan is gonna eat and do. :)
there are pros and cons for this situation. I know there will be conflicts here and there..but i have to bite my tongue for it.
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT..for sure this time will be different coz this is my house and not her house..
my rules and not hers :))

very very busy

These few weeks i will be very busy coz i am helping Kit summarizing his notes (exam next saturday) as well as helping my in-laws selling their house.
Very tiring and exhausting travelling in and out everyday. :(
I will keep u guys posted when everything settled down :)

Furthermore i am having the pollen alergies lately..sighhh..so sien man... i dun wanna take the allergies pills coz it will come back again next year..trying to fight it very hard! ai yai yai..with watery eyes..stuffy nose and snezzing all the time.
BLame my imported nose here...

okie dokie...will try to update my blog after 2 weeks time :)