Monday, August 06, 2007

Why....??

Is it because she is jealous?

Is it because she hate me?

Is it because she dislike me?

Why every single time when I am doing something right and good for myself and my family, she will utter out words of discouragement and negative stuff to put me down?

Words such as.......

"I don't think you can handle the Nursing job"

"It is too hard for you"

"Your cooking is too oily"

"You should not let Ryan eat this"

"You are too fat"

"Your life will be tough when you starts school"

"You better loose weight if not your husband will leave you for other"

"The house is too dirty"

"Eating western food is no good"

"When I took care of my 4 kids, they never got sick" "You are not doing it right with Ryan"



I am so sick and tired with her negative statements! What I have been doing since the day I met her are all from my sincere heart and good to her.
I have never treated her bad ...not even ONCE!
I just cannot understand why must she do this to me?
Am I that bad? Or is it because that I am not the one that she would like Kit to marry?


I am not very good at my emotional intelligence. I am the type of person that suck at negative comments.
I like to be like by everyone. ...and I know I cannot expect everyone to like me.
But..someone who hates me and live with me ...this is hard!
I have been keeping my silence whenever she utter those ugly words...
But how much longer can I keep my silence?
How much damage she had done to my emotional being?

I have been telling myself, she is different...ignore her... let her be...but seriously, I cannot avoid those knife sharp of words that stab into my heart!

The thing is.....she will treat me nice when she need something from me.

I really do not understand what she wants from me?

She always said that lots of her friends daughters in-law are evil and abuse them...
Now..am I abusing her?

This is heartbreaking .... I have lost my mother when I was 14 years old...and I treated her like my own.
Why....

Everyone ask why I let them stay with me? Well, I have to..they are Kit's parents...we cannot just shoo them away.
No one can help me in this matter..

Only 2 options:

1) Pray to God that she change!

2) Pray to God that I have more patience and wisdom to handle her everyday..

God is working on His own timing and ways..is never my time or my way.
I am praying for more patience, wisdom, more E.Q., a bigger heart to oversee everything, and forgive and accept her.

My Prayer:
Oh Father in heaven, I humbly come before you to ask for YOUR forgiveness and mercy. I thank You for a wonderful family you blessed me with. Please bless me with wisdom, more E.Q., a bigger heart to face my MIL. I commit her to You and I know You will handle her for me. I know this is not her doing, is just the enemy doing to put me down. Please comfort me and protect me whenever the evil is doing their work.
I know I have YOU as my shield and comfort.
I commit my family to YOU and ask for YOUR blessings and sealed my family with LOVE, HARMONY, and PEACE.
For YOU my LORD, You are my ROCK and SAVIOUR!
I shall not FEAR the evil but YOU!
In JESUS NAME, AMEN!

4 comments:

Mama BoK said...

Hey..Gene,
Sorry to hear about your MIL..! it's very cruel for her to say things like that to you ..!! But we all know that ppl donch changed right..?? so you just have to be indifferent to what she says to you .. from now on. Just tell yerself.. that she is not in the right frame of mind.. and that she is a patient. So treat her like one.. and then .. wait for her recovery.
Just remember that you are a good person.. good wife.. and a good mother..and a good friend.. and sister.. and daughter.. and daughter in law.. and that's all that matters..!!
Chin up ... gal..!! you can do it..!!!

KGC said...

Hi, just happen to read your blog and this post. I am sorry to hear about this too, I myself faced with that too (during my maternity). Luckily I managed to leave their house. In your case, you have to turn a deaf ear. It is not easy but please be patient. Take care!

Joez said...

Sis, you are not the problem. Yr MIL is her own problem. If you look fr another angle, she is jealous and upset with yr ability to do well with so many things, raising Ryan, studying, taking care of the house, cooking, tending to all of them, tirelessly, without complaining out...all this, I believe she is envious and wished secretly she could do it. Unable to 'rewind' or do this herself, she venged out her anger and frustrations with negative remarks (which she probably much regretted after uttering them) to u, not wanting to believe u can do all this, what a superwoman u are, and only wanting to believe she is the best woman and wife/mother in the whole world. She sees u as a competitor. It is not about YOU, but any woman who is Kit's wife or any woman who appears much better than her, she will use these means on her. But keep in mind dear sis, she has no real intentions against u, it's just all abt herself...she is the one who needs help. So keep calm and seek faith in God. You are the best Mom, Sister, Wife and friend. That's the truth and it's not important if yr MIL understands or not. It's already in our hearts and God's heart. LOVE you always. Sis.

G @ mommibee.com said...

poor u gene *big hugs from Bee and me*. I can feel ur pain. My MIL is exactly like urs. Even during her short two weeks stay here, the mouth already like a sharp knife stabbing me and those rude gestures she made behind my back she thought I didn't see! She hates me for dunno what reason. So I guess ur MIL are just one of those typical generation who will hate any DIL no matter how good they are. It's not about you, it's her own problem that she could not see beauty and she chooses to feel anger and hatred. Only God can change a person and while it may take time, it will eventually happen that someday she will change. Meanwhile I cannot deny that it is extremely difficult not to feel how you feel. But it is important that u know ur MIL behaves like that not coz u're no good but bcoz she will hate any other person the same way. My MIL also said I'm too short, too fat, etc right in front of my face, haha and went to tell her relatives in NZ some more, cucuk cucuk! So what's her problem? Her son loves me what, jealous meh??. Gene, we all love u, remember that!! Ur MIL's negative remarks hold no weight!