So hardworking...

I have never been so hard working ever in my life in terms of studying.. ya... i just didn't expect that Nursing courses is this hard and tough. I almost wanna quit during early week of December. At that time, I still have 3 more weeks to go to complete my semester 1.
I cried like a baby at the nursing home, in front of my lecturer and my colleagues. Yup, due to i was so stressed up and I couldn't stand it anymore. That day, I was supposed to do vital signs on my resident, like taking blood pressure, temperature, abdominal assessment ...and oh my gosh..i couldn't wrap the blood pressure cuff on my resident's hand. She has Huntington disease and her hand kept moving. I was having a hard time that time. It was like I have no knowledge of doing vital sign skills at all.
I was very upset and my lecturer asked me to practice it again and come back next week for evaluation again.
That day, I also received back my Nursing care plan number 1 and guess what i did badly as in lack of analysis.
So everything added up and that pushes my button.

I cried and cried non-stop..it just won't stop. My lecturer had a good session with me after that, reviewing everything with me. I told her that i don't feel like i fit in the program and I felt like quiting.
Well, lucky i did not because.. out of 12 skills..i only couldn't do 2 skills well.
My lecturer said I have the character, attitude, ..and is just the skills i am lacking ...all i need to do is learn and practice more..that's it.

My resident loves me very much..and I do fall in love with her. I fall in love with all the residents there in nursing home. I have compassion towards what they are experiencing now. It is sad to see them there.
I will not wish that on anybody at all.
It is very sad eh.

So, everything goes okay..but very tough! Next semester will be tougher...will be doing medication, will be learning all kinds of drugs and how to give it to residents or patients..
then second 7 weeks or rotation, i will be doing surgical processes..get to see lots of cool stuff.
Again, will be 2 nursing care plan for each rotation... not really like Nursing care plan ..coz lots of work...and i hate the assessment.
oh well, i need to learn it because that skills will determine me earning 30 dollars an hour in the future.

Oh God, may you have the mercy and blessings on me!