Long time...

Wow..it has been awhile i have not blog. I am just busy and lazy lately. I am doing my pre-graduation training...meaning working full time for free.. till April 30th. Is a mixture of day shifts and evening shifts...but mostly day shift.
I am working at this Behavioural Unit in one of Hamilton small hospital. I love this place..and my preceptor (the nurse who trained me) is an amazing preceptor. She is a total doll!
She taught me alot and i have learned alot.
My patients are mostly alzheimers & dementia..but they are some with schizophrenias and bipolar.
There is this patient, N.R., she suffered from alzheimers and bipolars...she can talk..but it does not make sense..every time when i am giving her care..she will said "leave me alone... u asshole" or "leave me alone ...u son of a bitch.." but i did not take it personally..coz i know they are sick...
Daily i care for them without fail...i like to go to work..and i like to care for them..
I dunno why...i find that..with psychiatry patients..they are interesting and challenging.
Giving them meds is another challenge..the nurses there have to be creative...
and our critical thinking box is on 100% all the time..when we are at shifts.

However, some nurses dislike that unit..they said is like babysitting...pschiatry patients are not patients at all..or pschiatry nursing..is not nursing.
I totally disagree...coz brain is part of the human body and organ..it will fail too..and it is the most complex organ in the body.

I personally love psychiatry... coz..to me..is a big satisfaction when i care for them...it gives me the opportunity to assess their brain..their behaviour..and this task is not easy.
is not like biology knowledge we learn with other parts of the body..
coz brain..is hard to understand.

My ambition is to further career in psychiatry nursing.. hope that will happen :)

surgical floor again

I am back to surgical floor again for my final semester 4 rotation. Yup..the floor where i had the patient fractured her arm while i was giving her sponge bath.
I survived the first 2 days so far.. It went awesome..better that i expected.. THANK GOD! HE blessed me with a good nurse and good patients. I had one with post op day 1 he was walking around already.. he had total right knee replacement. He didn't even use the PCA pump for the morphine at all..what tough guy here..and today it was post op day 2 for him..and he already got discharged!!!
Awesome. I did his dressings and he is pretty much independent! so..pretty nice for me..coz i dun have to do the personal care.

Left 6 more days for my clinincal...then.. i will be doing my Pre-grad rotation at St. Peter... I got what i wanted..doing Psychiatry plus medicine! DOUBLE BONUS.
I am a happy camper here... no complains..GOD is GREAT!
Counting my days.. :)

5 years old

Ryan is turning 5 years old this coming 25th January! BOy, time really flies... i cannot believe it. I remember i was holding him in my arms in the hospital the day he came to this world.
Now he can reason with me..and do listen to me..He is a very good boy overall. At times, being a boy..he do have some cheeky and naughty behaviour..but..he is a fine boy. I am very lucky and Blessed!

Everyone been asking me..when i am going to have second one...well, here is my answer..NO.
I know i cannot afford another one..and at the same time..i don't know how to raise 2 children..and i don't think i can pour out as much love to my second child like i did to Ryan.
Can i? Furthermore, financially..we couldn't afford it. I am half way through my studies..and starting my career soon..can i stop and do everything again?
I know i am selfish..once my friend said..money is not the problem..but to me it is..
i don't want my child suffer because of his or her parents cannot provide a better, and comfortable environment to live in.

And by the time i have money...my biological clock already passed the healthy level to have children..
so how ?
Is hard to answer the question of me having the second one..i truly dunno how to answer that question.

Bye Bye 2008.....welcoming 2009

Wow..it's been awhile i have not updated my blog eh...and it is brand new year already. I am alrite...thank you for everyone concerns..i am okay..is just that i was having a very tough time during october-dec 2008. That's why i don't have time to do anything...all i did was school...study...and sleep.

Ever since, i finished my psychiatry rotation... I was struggling dealing with active medication rotation for 7 weeks.
In addition, Ryan was sick...had a lung infection and caused him another febrile seizure. As he was having the seizure..i was rushing downstairs to attend to him..i missed 2 steps and sprained my left ankle. My left ankle went inwards and cracked. Thank God i didn't fractured it..but i suffered a lot. Till now,my ankle still hurts..if i stand too long.
Anyway, we rushed Ryan to emergency that nite...he was okay...THANK GOD!
as for me..I was not okay...i missed 2 days of clinical due to my ankle..and my teacher gave me hell time...
it was a mind torture for me that time... and to top with everything...i failed one of clinical theory test.
Gosh... i was really stress out through out the whole 7 weeks.
I worked my butt off for this rotation...was at the college at 7 am till 9.30pm. I missed seeing Ryan during weekdays.
God is great....I appealled for a re-write... it was mind boggling..cause my teacher was not very encouraging and supportive type of person...she played tough..
She told me.. "U have to prove to me that u deserve another chance for the re-write.." the re-write appeal..has to be signed by her..if not i won't get a chance at all.
I have nothing to be afraid off..coz all this while..i have great marks in my academic records.
I worked hard all the time..I have lotsa friends supports me..
Thank God for that!
But still..i am human being...so i cannot allow any minor mistake..i make sure i scored other subjects and showed her i DO REALLY DESERVE another chance...
I made it... i passed the re-write.. AMEN! PRAISE HIM!
dec 15th was my last day of semester 3...it was hell break loose for me...but i am still recovering eh...mentally!
I had my good breaks..

I played with Ryan everyday..during the vacation....i had soo much fun with him... i really do missed him a lot! and WE had soo much fun! hehehehe
I am still on my break.. but tomorrow will be my my final 4th semester orientation.
I will have first 7 weeks of active meds rotation..then the next 7 weeks will be my pre-graduation rotation..where i have to work alone like a nurse...with a preceptor another RPN( registered practical nurse)
tomorrow i will know where i will be getting my pre-grad location..it will be a lottery!
I am nervous..i can be landed anywhere...nursing homes, hospitals..or community!

I am really hoping to get pscyhiatry ..but on the other hand..i don't wanna loose my medical skills
I found one site...where i can practice both...they call behaviour assessment unit..where patients are diagnosed with chronic psychiatry disorders..as well as with physically illness..
i'll get to do some IV care, wound care, behavioural assessment!
wohooo..this is great bonus for me!
I really wish i get this one..but there will be 80 of us.. and it will be a lottery style..so is hard to tell!
Wish me luck!

what's new

Nothing is new... i am here still awake at 11.10 pm..while waiting for my hair to get dry and trying to settle down from almost 12 hours of studying.

I have test tomorrow...and i am still not yet ready...my brain is not functioning today.
I miss spending time with Ryan.. i miss reading with him...trying to write with him..i miss those time a lot.
But i have no choice... Kit is there to help me to do that..but still is different..
I personally want to spend time with Ryan.

Ryan is doing alright in school...love it very much! We got him a new hobby lately...which is swimming..SIL is taking Ryan to swim during the weekends...and they are going again this coming weekend.
I wish i can join..but ai yo..me overloaded with my school work..
plus exam exam..almost everyday and everyweek.
I am swammped!
Counting my days till first week of December..then i will be done with semester 3!
Looking forward!
Next april..i will be done! wohoooooooooooo!

first conversation

This week i officially working as a psych nurse (in training)..boy..i tell ya..is not as easy as i thought.
Well for sure we don't have to rush a lot as compared to medical unit except for morning 8 am meds.
But we do a lot of observation, brain-storming to guess our client's pyschosis behaviour.
Yesterday was a buddy-up with a staff nurse day..and i was having a great time. Learned a lot from her. Managed to spend time with one of this client...diagnosed with manic bipolar disorder. Poor man...he seems all right and very pleasant..due to he has been taking his psychotic medication to control the pyschosis symptoms.

He is telling me that he has a date and job interviews. These people are normal human beings..who wanted to be normal like anybody else..just that..they have no choice to get this sickness..and they are all in need of help.
Too bad..our society shunned them.... and isolate them.

Today i get to work alone by having one patient of my own. Doing meds and interviews for the first time..boy..i was nervous...
this client of mine...her diagnosis was schizoaffective disorder...her symptoms are not enought to diagnosed as schizophrenia..but she only a few of schizophrenia symptoms such as delusions, hallucinations..and disorganized thoughts.

She denied she has sickness..and believe everyone is. Having thoughts someone has broken into her house ..tampered with her stuff and food in the fridge.
FBI and terrorist ppl calling her and wanted her to open up a meat business..
very interesting lady...
Last week, when i was reading the text about delusions...i cannot have a sense of it..but today..i really do!
My patient's thoughts are very disorganised!

I find it psychiatry field is challenging..not only u need the med nursing skills...u need to have the "brainy" skills to deal with ur patients.
It is very rewarding to see patients getting better and discharged and go out to community and getting a job.
The feeling is hard to explain..just feeling great!

long week...

This week is pretty tough for everyone of us due to Kit is adjusting himself at his new job in Mississauga...he seems overwhelm due to different technology and systems he has to learn.
Ryan is officially starting school...he seems alright and happy about it. However, my concern is his health..due to he has to wake up early ...only having a bottle of milk..and then ..kit has to send him to day care at 7 am. Usually the day care will provide breakfast..but my mind will not at peace without actually seeing with my own eyes that my baby is eating...there is a certain percentage that Ryan is not eating..depending on what they are serving.
If i feed him from home..it will be too early...i already having troubles..asking him to drink his milk.
His school starts at 9 am till 3.30 pm.....we send him to day care at 7 am..so basically he is having a full day like us!
I really feel sorrie for Ryan..but we have no choice.
Monday went well for him...i picked him up straight from day care right after my class finished at 3 pm...
Gosh..it was hectic for me..due to..monday i have 8 am class...till 3 pm..then rush to his day care...pick him up..come back...give him milk first...then start cooking ..
it was boom.. boomm...boom...and i still need to work on my studies after i settle everything.
BOy..i am exhausted..even now.. still am...today Ryan is off from school..coz his schedule is alternate schooling days.
Therefore..i stayed at the library till about 6 this evening..to finish off my studying and homework.
My brain is shutting down now... i want to sleep..but too much stuff to do..

My assignments and exams are coming soon..every one of them are piling up...just waiting for me...
back to old schedules..man..i am so lazy after the break..it is hard for me to switch back.
Is like running old systems now eh...so slow...brain not functioning..hehehe

I hope next week will be better...really hoping!

Clinical tomorrow...

I am very excited now..coz i am going to visit Hamilton Center of Mental Health.. With the stories told by my intructor about schizophrenia clients overthere..i really want to experience myself tomorrow.
It will be very interesting to see with my own eyes.

I hope i really have a great time touring the place tomorrow and officially starts next thursday.

Assertiveness

On Wednesday, we learned assertiveness behaviour in our professional development class. Coming from Asian background...we are trainned to be passive and submissive to everyone who is in authority.

Now, how to say NO to your boss or senior colleague or even your Mother IN Law? hehehe... i find that class very meaningful especially for me because i can see me being submissive and passive when i start my nursing career.

I had a great experience ..such as conflict with MIL ...my mother in law's background is she perceive that she is always right about everything. She won't accept my ideas or ways of doing things... or confrontation or criticism.
Is hard for me..because... I really do not wish to creat wars in the family...especially Ryan is in the house.

How I wish...my MIL understands english...so that i can express and explain to her clearly.
Seriously..if she understands english or i speak mandarin..i think things will be better.

Oh well... we really have to be assertive..as in..getting our needs met but without jeopardizing the relationship with whoever u r dealing with it.

no more smurf suit

I won't be wearing my baby blue colour (smurf's suit according to my pschy instructor) scrub or uniform to clinical this rotation. How sweet! We have to wear business casual apparel.

It was funny how my instructor tell us about the dresscode when one of the student asked him..

Intructor: About the dresscode, to me..it has to be the 3 B's rules...

Students: 3 B's?

Instructor: yes..no showing of boobies, buts and belly!

hehehe..trust me..the way he said it...cracks us up good eh...

He always came up a lot of good jokes...we felt very comfortable with him...he gave us no stress..and as long as we do our work and hand in on time..
we will sail through the course! :)

tiring week...

This week has been very tiring so far for me due to my long hours spent in college. I was up at 6 am every day...and reach college at 8 am... and stayed till 5 pm. Not that my class finished that late ..is just i am trying to adjust back to my crazy schedules process.

I used to stay in the library from 8 am till 10 pm..yea..basically library is my second home :)
This week...i could not do it..i am not used to it yet..but i am pretty sure by next week or 2..i will be able to switch it back.

So far, my first rotation of my 3rd semester is pretty easy for me.. I am dealing with mental health ppl..especially schizophrenia ppl.
I'll be visiting my clinical placement this Friday..and i am very excited and anxious at the same time.

Alot of ppl does not like mental health field..but i find it interesting. My instructor is a male instructor..and he has been a psych nurse for 23 years..and we love him! He is damn funny..and very unlike the normal nurses instructor.

I really respect him for what he has achieved and for what he is doing now.
He makes me want to further my studies in psychiatry field...maybe forensic!! hehehehehe
maybe..?

friendly gesture?

Guess what happened on Friday when Ryan started his first day of orientation at school?
He made lots of friends ...especially with this Jacob kid that is in his class.

Ryan already asked Jacob to come over to the house to play with him. Friendly gesture huh? Gosh..i dunno where he gets this idea...and so friendly.

When he got back from school..we were asking how was school and everything:

Me: So, Ryan..how's school? Did u make a lot of friends?

Ryan: 2 Jacobs...another Jacob..i like Jacob..we play playdoh..

Me: Wow, 2 Jacobs ..that's nice..

Ryan: Yea..Jacob coming to house and play with me...he said yes..

Me: Ohh? U asked Jacob to come over to your house and play?

Ryan: Yea..in 2 minutes...he is coming... (Ryan still does not know how the time works)

Me and Kit: LOL..(speaking to each other) wow..look at our son..very socialize...

Ryan: Ya...Unbelievable...


Me and Kit: LOL..hahhaha..we didn't know where and when he learn this word!

Back to school

Tomorrow will be officially first day of class for me and it starts at wee 8 in the morning. This means i have to get up at 5.45 am in order to get ready for everything and avoiding fighting washroom with Kit.

I am so lazy to study....hopefully my lazy worms will start to die off by the end of this week.

Ryan will be off till the 15th..so i am a little "peaceful" here..hehehe MIL is taking off days this week to watch Ryan for me.
Lucky me!

Anyhow, class will finish at 3 pm tomorrow..but i planned to stay at the library to study for my test and prepare for my up coming classes.

Yea...back to my "second home" routine..hehehe...i cannot study at home due to noises and distractions from tv and ryan playing.

over excited..

I got over excited yesterday about going back to school today plus Ryan's first day of full day at school. I did not sleep for the whole night yesterday. This morning i have to get up at 6 am...boy it was dreadful.
My eyes were hardly open...

I don't know why i am over excited...maybe because i was worried about Ryan's first day at school.
I need to pack 2 snacks and one lunch for him...and have to make sure he can differentiate between the snacks and lunch. Smart thing to do is..(being told by the teacher)..to pack snacks in the paper bag and lunch in the lunch box.

I gave Ryan some baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, and goldfish crackers for his snacks..and peanut butter sandwhich for his lunch...as well as 2 boxes of juices..for his twice snack times.

He made it! He survived the first day..and he made a lot of friends. He ate his snacks and lunch :)
I am a happy camper here :)
Praise the Lord!

As for me...boy i am very overwhelm with my studies stuff.. So stressful as in I have so much to prepare for next week's classes. I need to get all my homework done by sunday. I will be having a math test this wednesday...man i hate new semester..coz they make us review back our medication's dosage calculations..

I hate math!

I will be busy till beginning of December.
It will be an interesting semester this time..due to we get to do Phsychiatric Nursing...which everyone refer it to the darkness of Nursing program.

Shall find out the truth!

the Day has come

Yup the big day has come for my little one... is time for him to go for full day school. Yup he is starting tomorrow ...same day as i have to go for my orientation day.
Ryan and myself visited the school and the class room teacher yesterday. Mrs. F seems very nice and soft spoken type of teacher.
Ryan got excited when he sees the classroom filled with small chairs, tables, computers, kitchen look alike set in the midldle, board filled with alphabets...snack area...and computers.
I was very glad that Ryan is comfortable with his friends and teacher. I am no surprised that Ryan is the tallest among all the kids in his group..coz he is one year late to enroll in Junior Kindy due to he is January baby.

Thank God that he used to the environment due to he was there for the day care. The reason I enrolled him in Catholic school..is because the day care is in the school building. School time will be 9 am till 3.30 pm...but due to we have to go to work and school...we are sending him to before and after day care program.
Kit will be sending Ryan to day care at 7 am..and i will do my best to pick him up at 4 pm.
Poor Ryan has to get up early...it will be tough for everyone at start..but i pray that everyone can get through it easy and everything will go smoothly.

As for me...i am not ready to go back...i don't think my brain is as "sharp" as before...i need to refresh back my nursing skills...jeeze..the injections hahaha..hate that..
i will have to do one special injection called Z track injection... that injection is specially for mental health patients.
Boy..i just have to whoop my but real hard again this time.... back to slaving days again....1 more year to go..man..can't wait till next year...man ..i will be done!

over did it

Ryan has over played for the pass days..he had a blast on Saturday..and on Wednesday he went for a school trip..another full day for him.

Consequences of all those fun- SICK! Yup..he was down with cold yesterday nite and this morning a mild fever.
I was up all night looking after him..poor baby couldn't get any sleep due to stuffy nose. He didn't cry at all..instead forced himself to sleep. Such a good boy i have here..if for me..i definitely throw a fuss already!

He woke in the morning with 37.4 Celsius, a slight fever..i was worried at that time..due to his febrile seizure history. I kept his temp down with ice pack and tylenol fever.
THank God by 10 am..his fever is down..back to normal temp...and he didn't take his nap at all till about 2 pm.

I am like a zombie now..with a headache..my head felt so heavy and i felt like wanna throw up...
I have been feeling like this all day..but i still have to watch Ryan.
I didn't cook dinner for everyone except i cooked porridge for Ryan.
I am not in the position to cook dinner feast for everyone!

I need help myself too..i am waiting for KIt to come home now so that he can take over my place...
I need good nite sleep tonite..badly!

2 more weeks

Time really flies eh... I left 2 more weeks of break then I have to go back to my crazy schedule life.
I really miss my crazy life these 3 months break. My brain getting lazy and rusty too.
I just got some of my books and i started to look at it..boy..i think i am getting very very busy and crazy this coming semester.
I will be dealing Mental Health clients as well as medications field again.
I hope everything goes well.. This time I will not have any Biology stress ...but will have Nursing Professional Ethics stress instead.

What I am going to miss when September comes is Ryan and Kit... I am going miss spending quality time with them..esp my Ryan. Every fun always have to come to an end..
Ryan will be going to Junior Kindy as well...and he is starting full day school every other day too.
Is going to be tough for him..I just pray that he will be alright and able to adjust to the routine.
Importantly, he won't get sick this coming winter time...

Low Iron

My doctor has been telling me that my Iron level is low since April 2008. I tried taking Iron pill but didn't help me much due to it constipate me.
I tried nuts and spinach..but not enough..due to every month when my "aunty" come... i sure loose a lot!

Nowadays..i get tired easily..and at times..i felt like i wanna faint..So, today i started to continue my iron pills..and decided to take every other day to avoid constipation. Hope that helps..

Really... big size like me..still have low iron level..i am surprised here..

Ontario Science Centre

Last Saturday, we all went to Ontario science Center in Toronto. It was fun for Ryan.
It was fun and tiring for everyone...Ryan really had a blast that day..he really over did it that day..heehehe..
Till today, i am still feeling tired from all day walking on Saturday.

Promoted

Yup i got upgraded from G2 license to G license..wohooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I passed my freeway driving test..FINALLY!

Gosh i was so worried and scared for the whole month..i tell ya! Didn't really had good sleep for weeks.
U can tell by my "panda eyes"

Anyway, I am so very glad that everything is over now..and I am ready to go back to school now!

Thanks everyone for praying for me! MMMMMMMMMMMUAks