Happy Happy Happy...

I am super Happy because...I am truly Blessed by my Father! He blessed me with great family and a great job.
I love my new job... something i truly like to do..and pays well at the same time.
No rocket science job but something decent to pay bills and get things rolling. :)

I no longer have to work weekends and shifts for my nursing role..but i am still doing a nursing job during week days schedules. Love it!

This weekend i am having a long weekend...just only for me..due to Remembrance day for Canada..and for all clinics..we are closed on Monday. So another bonus for me :)

Enjoying the weekend with my boys....went grocery shopping yesterday at Mississauga..and bought some of the Xmas pressies..
still got lots to buy on the list..
maybe next weekend..looking forward for Xmas!

too much fun?

I am sick today...sore throat, cough, stuffy nose, sneezing..hmm all symptom similar to flu..except for one..i got no fever.
I had a great time touring Elora, Fergus and St.Jacobs yesterday..and today i am sick!
Hmm...Ryan was sick last week for a week..maybe i caught some of his bug.

IS the flu season now.. govt is asking everyone to get flu shot and H1N1 flu shot as well.
yup..i am waiting for the H1N1 flu shot to arrive in my doc's office. This week they only let the higher risk person- elderly aged 65 and above, children 5 years of age and under, and 20 weeks pregnant women.

SO i am waiting for next week..for us normal citizen.
Didn't feel good at all...

weekend off..

Wahooooooooooooooo... i am extremely happy today and maybe tomorrow too.. this is my first weekend off and for the rest of weekend off :)
I dun have to work weekend anymore. Today we went out shopping..bought myself a winter coat London Fog original price was $129.99..but it was on sale..i save 40 bucks..i only pay 90 bucks..good one too!
I need a winter coat for work.. yippie..i am a happy camper...got what i wanted.
I bought a pair of shoe, and 2 pairs of pants for Ryan. So he is happy. Kit didn't want anything..so we went out for lunch.
Went dim sum...had a good lunch :)
Tomorrow i will go out with my galfriends to Fergus and Elora..a city that i never been. I am totally excited.

Rite now i am just spending some time to do some of Kit's law assignment. Man, it has been awhile i touch books eh... brain kinda rusty..especially when it comes to contract law..boy..the last time i took business law was 9 years ago!
Jee ..Kit really test my knowledge..that's why i am here blogging ..back to blogging!!
Thanks to Lenny... bugging me... :)

I am looking forward a great tomorrow as always!
Blessed be to the Lord for His Grace and Mercy!
AMEN!

could not settle with one...

It has been 3 months I work at this hospital..where i did my pre-grad training. I was very lucky to land a job right after my training. I remembered the HR personnel who interviewed me one day b4 my license exam.. she asked me why I picked this day, why didn't i re-scheduled another day. I told her I don't believe in cramping..i did my studying and I am prepared..furthermore..day before..i just wanna relax..phewwwwwwwwww..when i think back..relax what? hahahah..was so stressful for me.
Anyhoo, I was so confident during the interview... and i told them..if u hired me..i gave you 200 percent of performance..i love my job..i love my patient...

And guess..after i got the job..i hate it! what a liar huh..hmmm actually..If they offer me a full time line in Behavioural..YESSS i gave them 200%..maybe more than that..that's my passion.. working with behavioural ppl.. but they gave me a relief position..going everywhere in the hospital.
See, i am not the "nursy" type of nurse..like i want to try everything..get every skills in the world that i can..NO..i am not like that..I just wanna concentrate on what I like and what i do best..which is psychiatry.
So, for the past months..i am crying inside... whenever they send me to palliative, or complex or rehab..I just could not see myself doing it. However, i still try my very best to deliver my care for my patients..
Not that i am boasting, all my patients loves me.. every time they rang the call bell..they wish it was me to answer their call for help..they even said it themselves!
That's something nice i got back from doing the work for my patients..a sense of appreciation.
Ever since i started the hospital job as a relief nurse..not a single day go by that i did not look for a job... i browse the net daily looking for a better position.
My back hurts every time i came back from work...i didn't get to spend time with my family during weekends....so i told myself..as much as i love this nursing job..it has to be something..
I pray night and day..for God's mercy and blessing...waiting for my breakthrough...waiting for His PERFECT plan for me... No fail i pray and search for job..applied tons of jobs for the last 3 months.

On the 16th of October..I got an offer from a biggest cancer centre in ontario, a position of RPN, doing an office job, no weekends, no shifts jobs, 9 to 5 hours, and doing what i used to love to do..which is administrative, management plus nursing knowledge. I was awe by GOD's love for me and my family!!
HE is so merciful and loving! I cried that day...coz i could feel the pouring love from HIM!!!
I was so blessed!! In Nursing, u can only imagine for that kind of job...but it really happened for me for real!
Praise Lord for his miraculous job..nothing is impossible for HIM! He is always there for His children..
I am starting a new job this Nov 2nd ..as a RPN referring new patient who just got diagnosed with cancer to the right cancer specialist.
unbelievable awesome job that i could ask for!
THANK You LORD!!

2 months

I have been working as RPN for 2 months... and the feeling being a nurse is nerve wrecking for me. I am working as a part time Permanent Relief RPN in the hospital. Staffing owns me..they send me everywhere when i am needed to cover the regular nurses on the unit to book off.

The hospital i work at has 8 different units- Behavioural units (3 units) Palliative (2 units) Complex Care (2 units) and Rehab unit. Every unit has their very own routine of doing things... and each shift of each unit again has their very own routine.
Certain units , the regular nurses do not like we relief nurses..due to they are afraid we cannot perform to their standards due to we are relief.

As a new graduate and new hired...it is very overwhelming for me every single time i am send to different floor to work. Every day going to work is a suspense ..not knowing where u r going..and how are your patients like. Furthermore...nurses there..not all are friendly to help you.

I am desperate to apply for a permanent line in one unit..where i can find my routine..and get to know my patients and plan my care for them. I really wish i can get a line in Behavioural units...that's my passion..working with ppl with mentally challenge behaviour.

getting too much rest

It has been only 2 weeks after my exam..and i already getting bored of staying home doing nothing.
No doubt i enjoyed the first week of doing nothing..mainly just watch tv ..cooking, and mending the house chores..but i am getting restless here.
So not used to it.
I miss my books... and i did visit my school library and borrowed some nursing books to refresh my skills..kekeke

At first the librarian..won't let me borrow it coz i am done school..and i don't have my alumni sticker on my id card..but i knew the librarian very well... she kinda teasing me..what u need those books for..
i told her..that i need to kill time while waiting for the job orientation and results. Furthermore i am worried that my skills got rusty...and soon got to start working..better sharpen my skills and get myself ready :)
Well, long story short.. i am just plain OCD obsessive compulsive disoder..hehehe

Practical Nurse

Yup..finished the long and brutal 2 years of Practical Nursing course.. Wrote the license examm last wednesday ..waiting to be registered!
Got a job interview last week too (a day b4 the exam) ..got a call from them on Tuesday..I got offered a job in the hospital. This hospital is located within 5 mins drive from house..how convenient is that.
Is an 8 hours shift hospital..as compared to other hospital..which all nurses have to work 12 hours shift.
I am blessed with that good news.. rite now I am praying that I pass that exam and get my license.

Lotsa effort and hardwork for the past 2 years..and not to mention lotsa sacrifices i made to provide my family a better environment.
I am very blessed with all my family supports while i was doing this course.

Praise Him for the love, strength and blessings..AMEN!

my baby has grown up

This morning I send Ryan to day care...it was drizzling but Ryan has his very own Spiderman umbrella and i have my very own cheap umbrella from dollarama.
He no longer need mummy holding hands for security..he can walk by himself without fear..and when crossing roads he knows how to look left, right and left again..before crossing..without me prompting him to do that.

When we reach the daycare centre..he walked in by himself..and say goodbye to me ..without the need of me following him into the centre.
Oh boy..at that time..it just hit me that he had grown so much... i still remember the first day i sent ryan to day care...he cried and cried..holding my hands not wanting to let go..
My boy has grown so much..and fast..
I am so proud of him..

I guess..by another few years..he will have his own friends to play with..and don't need this old mommy to tag along.
Time really fly fast...he is 5 ++ years old..going to be 6.
Meaning this old mummy is getting old too ..hehehe

Long time...

Wow..it has been awhile i have not blog. I am just busy and lazy lately. I am doing my pre-graduation training...meaning working full time for free.. till April 30th. Is a mixture of day shifts and evening shifts...but mostly day shift.
I am working at this Behavioural Unit in one of Hamilton small hospital. I love this place..and my preceptor (the nurse who trained me) is an amazing preceptor. She is a total doll!
She taught me alot and i have learned alot.
My patients are mostly alzheimers & dementia..but they are some with schizophrenias and bipolar.
There is this patient, N.R., she suffered from alzheimers and bipolars...she can talk..but it does not make sense..every time when i am giving her care..she will said "leave me alone... u asshole" or "leave me alone ...u son of a bitch.." but i did not take it personally..coz i know they are sick...
Daily i care for them without fail...i like to go to work..and i like to care for them..
I dunno why...i find that..with psychiatry patients..they are interesting and challenging.
Giving them meds is another challenge..the nurses there have to be creative...
and our critical thinking box is on 100% all the time..when we are at shifts.

However, some nurses dislike that unit..they said is like babysitting...pschiatry patients are not patients at all..or pschiatry nursing..is not nursing.
I totally disagree...coz brain is part of the human body and organ..it will fail too..and it is the most complex organ in the body.

I personally love psychiatry... coz..to me..is a big satisfaction when i care for them...it gives me the opportunity to assess their brain..their behaviour..and this task is not easy.
is not like biology knowledge we learn with other parts of the body..
coz brain..is hard to understand.

My ambition is to further career in psychiatry nursing.. hope that will happen :)

surgical floor again

I am back to surgical floor again for my final semester 4 rotation. Yup..the floor where i had the patient fractured her arm while i was giving her sponge bath.
I survived the first 2 days so far.. It went awesome..better that i expected.. THANK GOD! HE blessed me with a good nurse and good patients. I had one with post op day 1 he was walking around already.. he had total right knee replacement. He didn't even use the PCA pump for the morphine at all..what tough guy here..and today it was post op day 2 for him..and he already got discharged!!!
Awesome. I did his dressings and he is pretty much independent! so..pretty nice for me..coz i dun have to do the personal care.

Left 6 more days for my clinincal...then.. i will be doing my Pre-grad rotation at St. Peter... I got what i wanted..doing Psychiatry plus medicine! DOUBLE BONUS.
I am a happy camper here... no complains..GOD is GREAT!
Counting my days.. :)

5 years old

Ryan is turning 5 years old this coming 25th January! BOy, time really flies... i cannot believe it. I remember i was holding him in my arms in the hospital the day he came to this world.
Now he can reason with me..and do listen to me..He is a very good boy overall. At times, being a boy..he do have some cheeky and naughty behaviour..but..he is a fine boy. I am very lucky and Blessed!

Everyone been asking me..when i am going to have second one...well, here is my answer..NO.
I know i cannot afford another one..and at the same time..i don't know how to raise 2 children..and i don't think i can pour out as much love to my second child like i did to Ryan.
Can i? Furthermore, financially..we couldn't afford it. I am half way through my studies..and starting my career soon..can i stop and do everything again?
I know i am selfish..once my friend said..money is not the problem..but to me it is..
i don't want my child suffer because of his or her parents cannot provide a better, and comfortable environment to live in.

And by the time i have money...my biological clock already passed the healthy level to have children..
so how ?
Is hard to answer the question of me having the second one..i truly dunno how to answer that question.

Bye Bye 2008.....welcoming 2009

Wow..it's been awhile i have not updated my blog eh...and it is brand new year already. I am alrite...thank you for everyone concerns..i am okay..is just that i was having a very tough time during october-dec 2008. That's why i don't have time to do anything...all i did was school...study...and sleep.

Ever since, i finished my psychiatry rotation... I was struggling dealing with active medication rotation for 7 weeks.
In addition, Ryan was sick...had a lung infection and caused him another febrile seizure. As he was having the seizure..i was rushing downstairs to attend to him..i missed 2 steps and sprained my left ankle. My left ankle went inwards and cracked. Thank God i didn't fractured it..but i suffered a lot. Till now,my ankle still hurts..if i stand too long.
Anyway, we rushed Ryan to emergency that nite...he was okay...THANK GOD!
as for me..I was not okay...i missed 2 days of clinical due to my ankle..and my teacher gave me hell time...
it was a mind torture for me that time... and to top with everything...i failed one of clinical theory test.
Gosh... i was really stress out through out the whole 7 weeks.
I worked my butt off for this rotation...was at the college at 7 am till 9.30pm. I missed seeing Ryan during weekdays.
God is great....I appealled for a re-write... it was mind boggling..cause my teacher was not very encouraging and supportive type of person...she played tough..
She told me.. "U have to prove to me that u deserve another chance for the re-write.." the re-write appeal..has to be signed by her..if not i won't get a chance at all.
I have nothing to be afraid off..coz all this while..i have great marks in my academic records.
I worked hard all the time..I have lotsa friends supports me..
Thank God for that!
But still..i am human being...so i cannot allow any minor mistake..i make sure i scored other subjects and showed her i DO REALLY DESERVE another chance...
I made it... i passed the re-write.. AMEN! PRAISE HIM!
dec 15th was my last day of semester 3...it was hell break loose for me...but i am still recovering eh...mentally!
I had my good breaks..

I played with Ryan everyday..during the vacation....i had soo much fun with him... i really do missed him a lot! and WE had soo much fun! hehehehe
I am still on my break.. but tomorrow will be my my final 4th semester orientation.
I will have first 7 weeks of active meds rotation..then the next 7 weeks will be my pre-graduation rotation..where i have to work alone like a nurse...with a preceptor another RPN( registered practical nurse)
tomorrow i will know where i will be getting my pre-grad location..it will be a lottery!
I am nervous..i can be landed anywhere...nursing homes, hospitals..or community!

I am really hoping to get pscyhiatry ..but on the other hand..i don't wanna loose my medical skills
I found one site...where i can practice both...they call behaviour assessment unit..where patients are diagnosed with chronic psychiatry disorders..as well as with physically illness..
i'll get to do some IV care, wound care, behavioural assessment!
wohooo..this is great bonus for me!
I really wish i get this one..but there will be 80 of us.. and it will be a lottery style..so is hard to tell!
Wish me luck!

what's new

Nothing is new... i am here still awake at 11.10 pm..while waiting for my hair to get dry and trying to settle down from almost 12 hours of studying.

I have test tomorrow...and i am still not yet ready...my brain is not functioning today.
I miss spending time with Ryan.. i miss reading with him...trying to write with him..i miss those time a lot.
But i have no choice... Kit is there to help me to do that..but still is different..
I personally want to spend time with Ryan.

Ryan is doing alright in school...love it very much! We got him a new hobby lately...which is swimming..SIL is taking Ryan to swim during the weekends...and they are going again this coming weekend.
I wish i can join..but ai yo..me overloaded with my school work..
plus exam exam..almost everyday and everyweek.
I am swammped!
Counting my days till first week of December..then i will be done with semester 3!
Looking forward!
Next april..i will be done! wohoooooooooooo!

first conversation

This week i officially working as a psych nurse (in training)..boy..i tell ya..is not as easy as i thought.
Well for sure we don't have to rush a lot as compared to medical unit except for morning 8 am meds.
But we do a lot of observation, brain-storming to guess our client's pyschosis behaviour.
Yesterday was a buddy-up with a staff nurse day..and i was having a great time. Learned a lot from her. Managed to spend time with one of this client...diagnosed with manic bipolar disorder. Poor man...he seems all right and very pleasant..due to he has been taking his psychotic medication to control the pyschosis symptoms.

He is telling me that he has a date and job interviews. These people are normal human beings..who wanted to be normal like anybody else..just that..they have no choice to get this sickness..and they are all in need of help.
Too bad..our society shunned them.... and isolate them.

Today i get to work alone by having one patient of my own. Doing meds and interviews for the first time..boy..i was nervous...
this client of mine...her diagnosis was schizoaffective disorder...her symptoms are not enought to diagnosed as schizophrenia..but she only a few of schizophrenia symptoms such as delusions, hallucinations..and disorganized thoughts.

She denied she has sickness..and believe everyone is. Having thoughts someone has broken into her house ..tampered with her stuff and food in the fridge.
FBI and terrorist ppl calling her and wanted her to open up a meat business..
very interesting lady...
Last week, when i was reading the text about delusions...i cannot have a sense of it..but today..i really do!
My patient's thoughts are very disorganised!

I find it psychiatry field is challenging..not only u need the med nursing skills...u need to have the "brainy" skills to deal with ur patients.
It is very rewarding to see patients getting better and discharged and go out to community and getting a job.
The feeling is hard to explain..just feeling great!

long week...

This week is pretty tough for everyone of us due to Kit is adjusting himself at his new job in Mississauga...he seems overwhelm due to different technology and systems he has to learn.
Ryan is officially starting school...he seems alright and happy about it. However, my concern is his health..due to he has to wake up early ...only having a bottle of milk..and then ..kit has to send him to day care at 7 am. Usually the day care will provide breakfast..but my mind will not at peace without actually seeing with my own eyes that my baby is eating...there is a certain percentage that Ryan is not eating..depending on what they are serving.
If i feed him from home..it will be too early...i already having troubles..asking him to drink his milk.
His school starts at 9 am till 3.30 pm.....we send him to day care at 7 am..so basically he is having a full day like us!
I really feel sorrie for Ryan..but we have no choice.
Monday went well for him...i picked him up straight from day care right after my class finished at 3 pm...
Gosh..it was hectic for me..due to..monday i have 8 am class...till 3 pm..then rush to his day care...pick him up..come back...give him milk first...then start cooking ..
it was boom.. boomm...boom...and i still need to work on my studies after i settle everything.
BOy..i am exhausted..even now.. still am...today Ryan is off from school..coz his schedule is alternate schooling days.
Therefore..i stayed at the library till about 6 this evening..to finish off my studying and homework.
My brain is shutting down now... i want to sleep..but too much stuff to do..

My assignments and exams are coming soon..every one of them are piling up...just waiting for me...
back to old schedules..man..i am so lazy after the break..it is hard for me to switch back.
Is like running old systems now eh...so slow...brain not functioning..hehehe

I hope next week will be better...really hoping!

Clinical tomorrow...

I am very excited now..coz i am going to visit Hamilton Center of Mental Health.. With the stories told by my intructor about schizophrenia clients overthere..i really want to experience myself tomorrow.
It will be very interesting to see with my own eyes.

I hope i really have a great time touring the place tomorrow and officially starts next thursday.

Assertiveness

On Wednesday, we learned assertiveness behaviour in our professional development class. Coming from Asian background...we are trainned to be passive and submissive to everyone who is in authority.

Now, how to say NO to your boss or senior colleague or even your Mother IN Law? hehehe... i find that class very meaningful especially for me because i can see me being submissive and passive when i start my nursing career.

I had a great experience ..such as conflict with MIL ...my mother in law's background is she perceive that she is always right about everything. She won't accept my ideas or ways of doing things... or confrontation or criticism.
Is hard for me..because... I really do not wish to creat wars in the family...especially Ryan is in the house.

How I wish...my MIL understands english...so that i can express and explain to her clearly.
Seriously..if she understands english or i speak mandarin..i think things will be better.

Oh well... we really have to be assertive..as in..getting our needs met but without jeopardizing the relationship with whoever u r dealing with it.

no more smurf suit

I won't be wearing my baby blue colour (smurf's suit according to my pschy instructor) scrub or uniform to clinical this rotation. How sweet! We have to wear business casual apparel.

It was funny how my instructor tell us about the dresscode when one of the student asked him..

Intructor: About the dresscode, to me..it has to be the 3 B's rules...

Students: 3 B's?

Instructor: yes..no showing of boobies, buts and belly!

hehehe..trust me..the way he said it...cracks us up good eh...

He always came up a lot of good jokes...we felt very comfortable with him...he gave us no stress..and as long as we do our work and hand in on time..
we will sail through the course! :)

tiring week...

This week has been very tiring so far for me due to my long hours spent in college. I was up at 6 am every day...and reach college at 8 am... and stayed till 5 pm. Not that my class finished that late ..is just i am trying to adjust back to my crazy schedules process.

I used to stay in the library from 8 am till 10 pm..yea..basically library is my second home :)
This week...i could not do it..i am not used to it yet..but i am pretty sure by next week or 2..i will be able to switch it back.

So far, my first rotation of my 3rd semester is pretty easy for me.. I am dealing with mental health ppl..especially schizophrenia ppl.
I'll be visiting my clinical placement this Friday..and i am very excited and anxious at the same time.

Alot of ppl does not like mental health field..but i find it interesting. My instructor is a male instructor..and he has been a psych nurse for 23 years..and we love him! He is damn funny..and very unlike the normal nurses instructor.

I really respect him for what he has achieved and for what he is doing now.
He makes me want to further my studies in psychiatry field...maybe forensic!! hehehehehe
maybe..?

friendly gesture?

Guess what happened on Friday when Ryan started his first day of orientation at school?
He made lots of friends ...especially with this Jacob kid that is in his class.

Ryan already asked Jacob to come over to the house to play with him. Friendly gesture huh? Gosh..i dunno where he gets this idea...and so friendly.

When he got back from school..we were asking how was school and everything:

Me: So, Ryan..how's school? Did u make a lot of friends?

Ryan: 2 Jacobs...another Jacob..i like Jacob..we play playdoh..

Me: Wow, 2 Jacobs ..that's nice..

Ryan: Yea..Jacob coming to house and play with me...he said yes..

Me: Ohh? U asked Jacob to come over to your house and play?

Ryan: Yea..in 2 minutes...he is coming... (Ryan still does not know how the time works)

Me and Kit: LOL..(speaking to each other) wow..look at our son..very socialize...

Ryan: Ya...Unbelievable...


Me and Kit: LOL..hahhaha..we didn't know where and when he learn this word!